Several years ago, I was watching a show about wild animal
encounters. “When Animals Attack Stupid
People”; “Morons In The Wild” or some other such fascinating program. One
clip featured a grown man feeding slices of bread to a grizzly bear. Once the
bread was gone, the man said “Sorry bear, no more. Time to go home now.” For
emphasis, the man held the bag upside down and shook it, as if the bear would
understand and go along his merry way.
You can imagine what happened next…
The bear, being a wild animal, was angered that his food
source was suddenly gone. Seeing the human as the reason, he chose the human as
his next food source.
The man survived the attack and hopefully he did either one
or two things after; stay his ignorant ass in the city, or learn something
about wildlife before taking to the woods again. Hopefully he learned that
Bambi and the Jungle Book aren’t reality shows.
In the spring of this year, a girl was bitten by more than
one rattlesnake. In a nearly humorous bit of irony, the girl was walking around
her aunt’s property in search of a cell phone signal. Reliance on modern
“conveniences” brought on a total ignorance of the land she was walking. Three
days before it happened, my sons and I spent the day hiking less than 3 miles
away, in known snake country. We saw a few snakes; no rattlers but what we did
see didn’t come close to us.
Why?
Because I choose to be aware and I choose to teach my
children the same. The vast majority of snakebite victims become victims for
the same reason someone steps in gum or in dog crap. They weren’t paying
attention to where they put their foot.
I am partly amused and partly disgusted at how the media
reported the event. They said the girl was “attacked” by a nest of
rattlesnakes. I’m no nature expert, but I think I just might know a little more
about wildlife than the average person. In all my reading, research and first
hand experiences, along with conversations with others in the know, I have
never heard of a nest attacking someone. One time, I threw a live chicken at my
brother for the plain fun of it, but that’s a different story. The average
human female weighs around 100lb, while the average rattlesnake weighs about 2
or 3 pounds. The rattlesnakes were minding their own business, catching some
rays when a creature over 50 times their size stepped on them.
Who attacked who?!
You need a license to drive a car.
You need experience to get a job.
You need to pay money to someone to do just about anything
these days.
But being among wildlife costs nothing.
Now, here’s where it gets ugly.
San Diego County residents will remember the 2003 Cedar
Fire. I remember it well, as I flew in from New Mexico the day of the fire.
Scary stuff, being in a plane above so much scorched earth. When the plane
crossed the Colorado River, the looming smoke was reminiscent of the scene from
Independence Day where all the space ships show up.
The fire was started by a human. Not just any human, but a
very special breed of ignorant, ill-informed and fully unprepared absolute
moron. How unprepared? Let’s just say that he was about as prepared as a
baseball catcher without a glove, mask or chest protector. Even worse, this guy
was on a deer hunt, so he was also in possession of a loaded firearm.
Anyways, our Great Hunter was hungry and thirsty so he
decided to go back to the truck for some food and water.
Decided to go back to
the truck…
Which tells me that he had no food or water with him from
the beginning…
He got lost, while less than 300 yards from the truck.
Less than 300 yards
from the truck…
Which tells me he had no basic outdoor knowledge.
So, in all his uhhhh, “wisdom”, he decided to set a signal
fire.
A fire.
In 80 degree heat.
In October.
With Santa Ana wind conditions.
When federal employees saved his life, he lied to them and
said it was started by an errant gunshot…
Final toll:
Over a quarter of a million acres burned.
Nearly 3,000 buildings destroyed.
And people 15 people dead.
I don’t even want to think about how many deer, mountain
lions, foxes, coyotes, raccoons, turkeys, skunks, lizards, hawks, quail and
other animals burned to death.
The unintentional arsonist was slapped with a fine that was
the rough equivalent of the cost of one funeral. All that damage and a slap on
the wrist. But I won’t get into our judicial systems’ incompetence and flat
refusal to hold people accountable for their actions. That’s a rant for another
time.
My point in all of this is, some people just need to stay in
the city. Stay where anything and everything except breathe is done for them by
someone or something else. Where you don’t really need to even think for
yourself, because someone or something else can think for you. I’ve just
provided three near-perfect examples of when people thinking for themselves can
be a bad idea. But for each of those examples and others like them, there are
hundreds of thousands of examples of good, common sense-having people who enjoy
the outdoors year after year. People who wake up to the sounds of chirping
birds at sunrise and sit by the campfire and listen to the lonely call of the
coyote when the moon is high in the night sky, with opportunities for wildlife
sightings throughout the day.
But please, for the sake of the safety of you and your
family, and the serenity of our precious wild lands, EDUCATE YOURSELF. Educate your children. Learn the land. Learn
the animals and their habits. Learn the trails. In this day and age of social
networking, all it takes is a post starting with “has anyone ever hiked at…” and you can receive just about all the
info you’d ever need. You don’t need to be a Bear Grylls or Steve Irwin but a
little knowledge mixed with good ol’ common sense can go a long way.
But if you’re the type who thinks bears are cute and cuddly
Disney actors; if you only experience this world through your cell phone; or if
you’re the type who would get lost a few football fields from your vehicle and
not carry even a little food or water with you, then it would probably be best
if you just stayed home.
If not, I hope to see you out on the trail some day.
