Friday, November 15, 2013

A Turkey for the Table

I saw an ad the other day for the lottery that asked "If you won the jackpot, what would you do for Thanksgiving". Many of the comments came from compassionate-hearted people who expressed their desires to help various charities. A few said little more than they would not give to charities for various reasons. I for one would buy a turkey for the table. Now, there are two ways to do this. The most common way would be to go to the supermarket and buy one. From initial thought to putting it in the freezer, we're talking 30 minute at the most.

 That's the most common way but it's definitely not the way I would do it. First, I would buy a plane ticket to Albuquerque. On second thought, I would buy a new truck and drive there. I would much rather take the time to show my children the land, making stops in Jerome Arizona, the Grand Canyon, the Painted Desert and Petrified Forest and any other interesting spot along the way. We would stop in Albuquerque for a bowl of Green Chile stew and then head up to the Sandia Mountains in search of my friend Gerald Reed. Gerald is a lifelong archer who has harvested countless deer, elk and turkeys with a keen eye and a reverent heart. Gerald would accompany us to the nearest archery store and we would all be fitted with bows, arrows and all the other neccessary accoutrements. We would then head back up the mountain and conduct an intensive training in the proper use and handling of our hunting tools of choice.

After a few days of this we would drive down to the Gila Wilderness west of Silver City to scout for game. This would not only give us the best opportunities for a successful hunt; it would also get us accustomed to the lay of the land. Not only that, we would also gain valuable insights that could be applied to future hunts.

Hopefully all of our hard work would pay off and we come home with more than one bird. Either way, the sense of accomplishment from a job well done and the sense of teamwork will be much more memorable than swiping the debit card at the checkstand. And on Thanksgiving Day when we are praying thanks, we won't be reflecting on a trip to the grocery store. We will be basking in the memories of doing something for ourselves. We'll be telling stories of the huge bull elk that almost trampled our blind. We'll revel in recounting that expert shot Trevor made. We will talk about the beard on the tom Jojo bagged. Excitment will abound as we discuss returning next year in hopes of adding a venison roast or two to the table. And maybe go a little further north on the Rio Grande for a Christmas Goose. Hell, we may even plan a trip to the Nugent Ranch in Michigan for some wild boar so we can add a ham to the feast. Sounds a lot more exciting than a trip to the market doesn't it?

I'm not a fan of the term "Bonding Time". Call me old fashoined but there once was a time when that term was uneccessary. It wasn't needed because "Bonding Time" was a way of life, not something a man had to work into his schedule. But since that term is much used these days, what would you consider a more important bonding experience; a 30 minute trip to the store followed by an evening staring at the tv or god forbid video games, or hundreds of hours spent referencing maps, studying animals, hiking the wildlands and connecting with Mother Nature? The end result on the table is the same but the similarities end there. I for one would choose the option that would instill discipline, gratitude and reverence in my children so that they may pass it on to their own. And if any anti-hunters don't like that, they need to know that harvesting your own meat is no more immoral than paying someone to do it for you .
Hope to see you on the trail...

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

What's In A Name?


10. NY/SF Giants
Little people. Midgets. Dwarves. Pecks. Whatever you choose to call them, someone out there likely considers rooting for a team called the “Giants” discriminatory towards the wee men and women.

9. San Diego Chargers
Original Chargers owner Barron Hilton also owned the Carte Blanche credit card company; hence the name “Chargers”. As in “charge it”. Git it? Alright then. Now, there are twelve-step programs for any addiction you can imagine and I am very familiar with the original. There’s even one for compulsive shoppers. It’s only a matter of time until someone with a shopping addiction (or someone claiming to represent their best interests) takes offense to the name.

8. Boston Red Sox
Whether it’s the Crips or the post- Cold War Neo-McCarthyists, someone is bound to take offense to the “Red” in their sox. Honorable mention: Cincinnati Reds

7. Colorado Rockies
I am disgusted with the fact that fans of Apollo Creed are not picketing Todd Helton’s house.

6. New York Yankees
Anyone south of the Mason-Dixon Line should boycott Frank Sinatra’s signature tune

5. Los Angeles Dodgers
What’s not to hate?

4. University of Hawaii Rainbow Warriors
I’m not touching that one. Honorable mention: Calgary Flames

3. Alabama Crimson Tide
This is getting gross. Honorable mention: Detroit Red Wings.

2. Dallas Cowboys
If the name Redskins offends a small part of the Native American community, then the name Cowboys should be doubly offensive. Anyone who grew up in the pre-xbox and smart phone era should remember playing “Cowboys and Indians”. What did cowboys do? They killed Indians.

And last but certainly not least…

1. San Diego Padres
Yes, the Padres are named for the Franciscan friars who were among the first Europeans to settle in the area. They built grand missions up and down the California Coast. With slave labor. Native tribes forced into slavery. Or, maybe it wasn’t exactly slavery, since they kind of did get paid. Their payment? The gift of religion. Meaning, the ummm, “civilized” Europeans forced their beliefs on the savages of the New World. Those who continued with their centuries-old spiritual customs were rewarded with severe beatings. Yet those are the things we aren’t taught in school. Now THAT is offensive…